The Blair Waldorf Chat Show
by KelaBelle
Summary: Blair Waldorf presents gossip, truth, answers, lies and violence on her live chat show. SerenaXDan JennyXNate BlairXChuckXVanessa LilyXRufus and many more Relationships on the show.
1. Please don't leave me

NEW STORY.- **The Blair Waldorf Chat Show**  
**Programme:**Gossip Girl

**Rating:**T

**Couples:**So many that will be on the show.  
**Authors Note:**So I needed a change then just lovey dovey stories, so I've decided to focus on this for a while,  
its in chat show style, you know like how jerry springer and that are. Please Review and tell me what you think.  
**Disclaimer: **My original, I know I'm proud of myself, as no ones come up with the Idea yet, accept the characters that are not mine,  
its thanks to me sitting in my bed thinking of another story to do.

_Blair Waldorf presents gossip, truth, honestly, lies and violence on her live chat show._

* * *

Blair Waldorf here on today's show we have confronting liars, cheating husbands, baby issues, marriage counselling and many more. Before we start chatting though, a special welcome to pink, give it up folks for her new song please don't leave me.

_Crowd Claps._

**"Please Don't Leave Me" - Pink**

_Da da da da  
da da da da__[x2]  
I always say how I don't need you  
But it's always gonna come right back to this  
Please don't leave me__[x2]  
I always say how I don't need you  
But it's always gonna come right back to this  
Please don't leave me_

_Da da da da da,_

_I don't know if I can yell any louder,  
How many times have I kicked you out of here?  
Or said something insulting?_

_Da da da da da_

_I can be so mean when I wanna be,  
I am capable of really anything,  
I could cut you into pieces,  
But my heart is, broken._

_Da da da da da_

_Please don't leave me_

_How did I become so obnoxious,  
What is it with you that makes me act like this,  
I've never been this nasty,  
Can't you tell that this is just a contest?  
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest,  
But baby I don't mean it,  
I mean it, I promise_

_Da da da da da_

_Please don't leave me_

_I forgot to say out loud,  
How beautiful you really are to me,  
I can't be without,  
You're my perfect little punching bag,  
And I need you,  
I'm sorry._

_Da da da da  
da da da da_

_Da da da da da_

_Please, please don't leave me  
Baby please don't leave me (no, don't leave me)  
Please don't leave me  
I always say how I don't need you  
But it's always gonna come right back to this  
Please don't leave me (no, don't leave me)_

_I always say how I don't need you,  
But it's always gonna come right back to this,  
Please don't leave me,_

_Please, please don't leave me._

That was pink with please don't leave me, after the break we have a confronting liar about, books and coffee um wonder what that's all about stay tuned after the break.

* * *

I know it was short but this was a little introduction but next chapter it introduces a couple, please REVIEW thank you.


	2. Dan and Serena

**Programme:**Gossip girl

**Rating:**T

**Couples:**In this Chapter Dan and Serena

**Authors Note:** Thanks for the reviews! hopefully, you'll keep reviewing, this chapter was quite a rush but I hope you like it.  
**Disclaimer:** I own the setting, characters I don't.

**When Blair speaks it will be in bold writing.**

* * *

**Dan & Serena**

Theme Tune

**Hey Blair Waldorf here, before the break we had pink playing her brand new album, now on the show we have a couple that rarely speak her words are because he enjoys drinking coffee while writing his lame old stories, how will they sort it out? Bring in Serena Van Der wood sen and Dan Humphrey.**

_In walks Serena on the right side and Dan on the left side._

_[Crowd Claps]_

**"Have a seat you too" Blair informs them. ''So Serena why have you brought Dan on the show today?''**

''Well for the past 3 months I come in from work and all he does is drink his coffee and write thoughs stupid storys'' Serena says glaring at Dan.

''Which will be published, one day might I add'' Dan says crossing his arms.

''But they won't, there lame, and I'm getting fed up of us never having a proper conversation or kissing each other anymore'' Serena says.

**''So Serena, when was the last time you had a acutal good convosation with him that included kissing and all sorts'' Blair smirks.**

_[A few members of the audience giggle]_

''Not for a while now, I would say it's been about 2 and a half months since we had even talked properly and other things have been even longer and all he says now is um,yeah,okay,no'' Serena Says.

**''To me you sound like a right bore, old men act how you act, don't you want to ever know your lovely girlfriend or you just going to be like your grandpa'' **

_[Audience laugh]_

''I'm nothing like my Grandpa Jojo Thankyou'' Dan says. ''And I do want to know you Serena, it's just because stories is a big part of me you know that''

**''Yeah there going to be so big your stories, that even J.K Rowling has ask to be co writer of it with you'' Blair Says through her big microphone.**

_[Audience laugh again]_

"Seriously can you stop with the sarcasicsm'' Dan says pointing to Blair.

**''Ill stop with the sarcasm, when you stop with writing your shit'' Blair smiles. ''Now Serena, how does this make you feel knowing Dan cares more about his lame story's then you''**

''I do not-'' Dan tried to finish his sentence but Blair cuts in.

**''Shut it, rat face, and let the lady talk'' Blair Says pinching Dan.**

''It makes me feel bad about myself, you know like I'm worth nothing, even a good old rusty books better then I am, well thats what it feels like anyway'' Serena says having her head down.

_[Crowd aww]_

''No, you mean more to me then the rusty books, they come to second to me you know that, Serena you'll always be my baby''

''Then why don't you have a break from them? , and spend more time with me, maybe then I'll stop feeling sorry for myself, because you don't care its like instead of peter pan your peter dan a boy who's grown up and he doesn't even know it''

''Because, I want to make it in the book inderstery, so we have good money coming in, so our family can be wealthy and rich, so we can show thoughs basses were the best, like how the other authors do with there familys'' Dan carried on talking but Blair cut in ignoring what he was saying he was boring her too much.

**''Alrite, your boring the viewers, bring in Dorota''**(Dorota was the ex maid of Blair and is now a muscle function full of strength that's a security guard.)

_[The crowd go wild, they love her]_

''Yes Miss Blair'' She asks.

**''Take lonely boy off, he's boring us take him to never land or something''** With that, Dorota grabs Dan by the collar and starts dragging him off his chair.

''Ow, ow not the neck, please not the neck'' He crys moaning, with that Dorota pushes him off stage.

[_Crowd Cheer]_

**''So sorry about that, he was just boring me too much, but thank you Serena for coming on the show its been a pleasure, I hope you try and sort it out with him''**

''Thanks for trying'' Serena Adds and walks off stage.

[_Crowd Clap]_

**''So there relationship wasn't exactly amazing now was it, I wonder what will happen there, next on the show we have a very different couple compared to there relationship theres is the opposite and lets just say there not straight either lets see how that goes, stay tuned after the break.**

_[Crowd Whistle and Cheer]_

* * *

So again I know it was a short chapter but there wasn't much I could do about there relationship next is Eric and Jonathan, and there's loads I'm doing on them so please Review because it makes me update quicker please, tell me your thoughts thanks.


	3. Johnathan and Eric

**Authors note**- thank you to the people who did review it means so much to me, and when people don't review but read i find it rude as i always review peoples story's if I'm reading them, also it helps me to do more as when you think not many are reading your story it makes you not want to carry on, anyway from me moaning sorry for the short delay, house has been a mess as its getting modernised, and they done the plug sockets so it meant i couldn't go on the computer, but here's another chapter, oh and no offence to thoughs who are like Eric and Jonathan in the story please don't get offending, its only a bit of comedy to the story, enjoy!

When Blair speaks = **BOLD**

* * *

**_[Theme tune comes on]_**

**Welcome back to the second part of the show, before the break we had Dan and Serena, next up we have one stalker and one loud mouth, bring in Eric Van der woodsen and Johnathan Henry.**

In walk Eric and Johnathan.

**''Welcome boys, have a seat, So Eric tell me why you have brought Johnathan on the show today?'' Blair asks through the microphone.**

''Well lately he's been to much touchy touchy, clingy like, and he never leaves me alone, last week he followed me to work'' Eric says throwing his hands in the air.

''That was because you left your handbag at home'' Jonathan interrupts.

''It was a wallet not a handbag OK!'' Eric shouts.

**''Right boys clam down, the situation to this is to sort it out, that's why were here, before we do though, what sort of bag was it again?'' Blair asks.**

''The new gucci''

''For the second time already it was a wallet'' Eric shouts again.

**''Okay, lets get back on track, Johnathan have you ever thought Eric might want his own space sometimes''**

''Um no, I've never actually thought about that'' He says twisting a peace of hair round his finger.

**''Well some people like to have there own space, Eric's probably one of those people, being around your partner or friend for that matter for to long can sometimes be distrubing, they like to have time on there own, because being round people all the time can lead into difficult things''**

''Well der I know that, but I don't like being on my own, it's lonely, and I don't have many friends'' Johnathan says.

**''Have you ever thought about getting some more then?''**

''He doesn't have any at all to be truthful with you'' Eric explains.

''Yes I do'' Johnathan says.

**''Who?''**

''Romeo, Brooklyn, Cruise'' Jonathan smiles.

**''You do realise thoughs kids are all under 10 years old, I'm sure Victoria Beckham would love you being there play pal, so Eric's right you have no friends, so you need to make some''**

_[Audience laugh]_

''But what if I don't want friends. what if only want Eric''

_[Audience Aww]_

''You shouldn't be awwing him, he stalks me everywhere thats not normal, town, supermarket, the toilets, The dentist, The library and there's more I could go on and on, and all I want is for him to stop with it , I see him at home and many other places'' Eric says.

**''Johnathan you ever thought about getting a job?''**

''No, why do I need a job for we have enough money coming through as it is''

**''Maybe so, but with more money in its an extra bonus for both of you, then you could go out more to party's and that, and maybe then you could stop with stalking''**

''Nah, working sounds kinda boring to me, and lame thats Erics sorta of style, minds sort of relaxing you know chilling''

''No your sort of style is being a lazy basstard'' Eric calls.

''Oh no you did not just call me lazy did you'' Johnathan says clicking his fingers together.

''Yeah I did, what you going to do, puss in boots'' Eric says shaking his head.

''Oh shut up, you turd, Ill come over there and slap you'' Johnathan says standing up from his seat.

_[Audience shout fight!]_

With that Eric stands up from his seat and slaps Johnathan across the face, with Johnathan trying to rag his short hair, who then starts slapping him back, they both carry on slapping each other.

**''Guys, guys stop'' Shouts Blair, With that Blair gets up trying to stop them, by doing this one of them pull Blair's hair making her scream.**

**''You are so going down for that, my exstentiona cost loads'' With that Blair punches Jonathan in the face who falls smack on the fall, then she grabs Eric and kicks him hard who then falls on top of Johnathan, Blair then sits back down on her chair.**

_[Audience cheer Blair on]_

**''That will teach them, the little puffs,next time I'll bite you, anyway enough with that, next up we have a couple with baby issues, so stay tuned after the break'' Blair smiles and starts brushing her hair.**

_[Audience Clap]_

* * *

So I hope you liked the chapter, I sort of drafted this, please don't be offended with any bits in it, I had to put some comedy in there though because I always wanted to see Eric fight with someone :) Please Review, X


	4. Nate and Jenny

Authors Note: Please Review, It means alot to me, I dont know If I should carry on with this story because it seems like not many are reading it if you are please review so I know more people are reading it, Btw check my new story out too, The world of gossip girl, it's my own version of gossip girl but in boarding school, many different couples too so theres bound to be a couple you like. Thanks and REVIEW! as I say. I might add some audience members to ask questions to so if you wanna drop your name Ill add you to the story.

* * *

_Nate&Jenny_

_[Theme tune comes on]_

**Welcome back on The Blair Waldorf show, before the break we had Eric and Johnathan, next up with have parents that are arguing over a baby, she says he needs to start looking after the kid and he says she needs to stop being incontrol of him. Bring on Jenny and Nate Archibald. In walks Jenny on the right side and Nate on the left.**

_[Crowd Clap]_

**''Hi guys, take a seat'' Blair smiles. ''So what brings you both here today, as your both complaining about the other''**

''Nates never got time for our daughter Kiana, he's always too busy working, and then when he does come home he goes straight to bed or the gym, and its not fair on Kiana or me because shes going to grow up with her father never around'' Jenny says.

''I work, so we can pay for the stuff we have and for the food, you don't even work, you never leave Kiana alone, you pick her up out of her cot when she's alseep just to hold her, going over the top sometimes'' Nate moans.

**''Right, well lets start with Nate, don't you think its unfair on Jenny, you being at work all the time, I mean I understand where your coming from needing the money and that but taking maybe 1 hour off your work hours so you can see your daughter might help, maybe thats why Jenny's always around Kianna because you never are so she needs twice the loving''**

''Maybe but my jobs not the best going'' He says.

**''So find a better one, is work more important to you then your family, I mean did you get brought up in a family where your parents were never around because they was always at work?'' Blair asked.**

''Actually yeah I did'' Nate said looking at the floor.

**''And how did it feel not having them around, never getting to spend time with them, doing family things''**

''It felt like work was more important to them, I was brought up by nannys and that, I treated them more like my parents then my actually own, it pretty sucked'' He nodded.

**''And if you carry on the way your going, Your child might say the same thing about you, and you wouldn't want that would you''**

''No I wouldn't''

**''And moving onto you Jenny, have you ever thought about maybe not being with your daughter so much, I mean I know you love your daughter which is good, but sometimes don't you ever think you need a break too maybe having a weekend job or something''**

''I would get a job but who would look after Kianna. Nates always at work, and I wouldn't wanna higher a nanny, I don't want her growing up with them, she might replace them as her own mom or something'' Jenny says.

**''Well why dosen't Nate have the weekends off so he can look after Kianna, and you work weekends'' Blair cheerfully said.**

''That sounds like a good idea, but I dont know what the work would think of it, having time off'' Nate says.

**''Fuck them then, they either agree that you have time off or you just quit''**

''Shes right Nate, you could get a better job then that'' Jenny agreed.

''Ill try Jen, you know how hard it is to get work'' He says.

''As long as you spend time with Kianna I dont care'' Jenny says.

**''Well you can kiss and makeup now because I'm totally get bored'' Blair smiled taking her shiny lipgloss out her bag.**

''I'm sorry Nate'' Jenny said.

''Im sorry'' To with that they both began kissing.

[Audience Aww]

**''Okay so letting them get on with there honky honky business, next on the show we have a manhore and his girlfriend who's sick of him flirting with other girls, um wonder what will happen there, stay tuned after the break'' With that Blair blew the camera a kiss.**

_[Audience Cheer and Clap]_

* * *

So a very very short chapter, but theres not much I can do on the show because if it goes on for too long itll get boring but I hope you like it there will be more humor to it next as Chucks on and we know we all love him, PLEASE REVIEW! THANKYOU. Mwah Xx And the quicker I will update for you. P.S check out my other stories.


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